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The bears have gone to sleep for the winter, and that means it's safe to go into the forest alone.



When I was passing over the bridge yesterday, I saw that Winter has already frozen the river.

I once read a novel that referred to him as "the mighty Athabasca" - and he is indeed that. Slower here than he is further south, but still impressive. But he turns himself over to her now, gives himself up to her.

Saw a Pine Grossbeak this morning. Beautiful birds, those. This is "south" for them - they come down from the Northwest Territory for the winter.

It was -15C earlier today.

Even though I complain about the cold and the dark, I have to admit that I'm much more comfortable going into the forest in winter. No bears. No insects. The fact that all the leaves has dropped means it's easier to see where I'm going. And it's safe to light candles now that fire season has passed.

I'll go in the morning, I think, when there's enough light to see by. It's been a while - I haven't been deep in there properly for months. Summer and autumn are not a good time for this. Mosquitoes make it unpleasant, the bear warnings make me nervous to go in there alone... and while it isn't a requirement to have candles, I vastly prefer it. So.

I just need some time alone out there, I think. Clear my head a little. Lately, I've been feeling very strung out - probably because there are a lot of things weighing on me, points of stress caused by things that don't have quick and easy solutions. It's all difficult problems, problems that will be time-consuming to solve. Frustrating, but being impatient won't help anything. Giving up won't help anything.

So. Best to go out for a while. Draw some strength from that.

Because she is strength, and power too - Winter is an unstoppable force, and she comes and goes on her own terms. She does as she pleases. Everything bends to her; the black spruce beneath the weight of her snow, my own head under her wind. And in the spring, when the river breaks, it's easy to see just how powerful she is. The pieces of ice that she froze him into, that he heaves up onto his banks - they're massive, incredibly thick. They look like glaciers in miniature. That she could do this, that she could transform him like that until she leaves - it amazes me. Winter amazes me.

It is November. The river is frozen, but thin. It takes time to make an ice road. It takes time for the snow to fall, to cover everything and keep going until you're several feet deep in it. It takes time to drop the temperature so much, make it so damn cold, that if you go outside and open your mouth, for a moment you feel like your teeth might crack.

That's fine. I can wait.